How are you all? I was going to post another photo of me when I was young and gorgeous and didn't realise but decided you might rather laugh at my expense instead. So here you are. Word of warning. There are some words not for polite ears but I'm sure you can cope.
It's not difficult to learn a language, but there can be difficult moments while learning a language. The most common mistakes in Spanish are often because people think they just need to add an o or an a onto the end of a word but doing this changes everything. I think the usual error when learning Spanish is to confuse pollo ( chicken) with polla, ( cock, dick, penis, take your prick, sorry pick). Many butchers get fed up with foreigners like me confusing this word, thinking the person is doing it on purpose, slamming their machetes down and shouting the Spanish equivalent of 'what's up with the schlong already?' Then there was the evening when I ordered a steak and when asked how I would like it done I suffered a bout of Spoonerism and asked for it be to be 'hay mucho' ( is there a lot?) when I meant 'muy hecho' (well done). I still confuse my sleeves, ( mangas)  with my mangos, (mangos). Who can forget the day I told some friends I had hurt my rolling pins ( rodillos) and not my knees ( rodillas) the same day I announced, 'look at all that mind growing over there'. (mind=mente, mint=menta) One friend never quite recovered when I told her that I didn't mean to f~ck her ( follar) when I meant let her down ( fallar). Ha! just remembered the time I was upset with one of the doctor's receptionists because I felt she was being mean and unhelpful and all the other receptionists came rushing out and tried to calm me down by saying, 'oh please daughter of ours, don't be angry', to which I replied, in Spanish, that I wasn't angry, I was 'livido', thinking this would translate as livid. I found out later that the surprised faces and the following silence might have been because I said the equivalent of, 'I am not angry I am of a pale complexion', or worse that I had some libido left in me. Ordering a shot of  oruga, (caterpillar) instead of orujo, ( liquer) has since been framed. I once ordered a Crema Catalunya ( Creme Brulee) instead of a Crema Catalana and will never forget the waiter's face and exuberent laughter coming out of the restaurant kitchen. The only way to describe this mistake is to say something like, 'oh, you speak very good England'.  But the one they all remember is the day I was being wheeled through a hospital corridor on a stretcher still coming round from the anaesthetic when the doctor informed me I was being taken to another floor ( planta). Feeling the urge to broadcast this to anyone willing to listen I propped myself up on one elbow and cried out as we passed a waiting room, 'they are taking me to another planet! (planeta) which I think we can all agree, explains a lot.