Evening all. Everyone's favourite cultural attache here. Well, it's been a funny old week, not necessarily ha ha. On my way to work one morning I nearly had my eye taken out by a man who was using an electric saw to cut a metal pole his friend was trying to hold onto while smoking a fag and wearing flip flops. Arriving in one piece I had amongst many things the responsibility of promoting the homeland. It couldn't have gone better. I had to caution and give a history lesson to some fellow because he thought it was socially acceptable to use the 'n' word. There was confusion when someone else started talking about 'Be Javier'. After a spell of pretending I knew what he was on about I realised he was saying 'behaviour'. Later, another chap told me that Mr Bean was a Jew. After some scepticism which involved a discussion involving only the words 'yes, he is, no he isn't', the conclusion was there are few merits when using Google translate. In Spanish, Judia could mean Jewish or a green bean. On top of this I was asked if everyone in the UK was a hooligan who stopped for tea at five o'clock. At one point I asked the group if we could go back to the page which championed the prestige of Harrods when someone sighed, undaunted and said 'steady, ready, go'. I could include loads more but I will finish with my walk home which is generally safe and lovely but some other men beckoned me over to a table set up in the street and asked me if I would sign a petition to complain about the state of the pensions which I did with pleasure but without thinking what I might be letting myself in for. They handed me some literature and I went on my way only to realise I think I may have inadvertently joined the Spanish Communist Party.