MY COUNTRY DOESN'T NEED ME

Boris the old buffer Johnson delivered a weird speech at the United Nations about 'legless chickens', 'pink eyed flamingos' and something about a hangover cure. You've got to hand it to him, it did remind me of something we all might have done at school in class 4B and got a few laughs. Meanwhile, the image of Boris Johnson having his 'liver pecked by an eagle' has inspired me to hatch another plan to steal Franco's bones. Spain's Supreme Court has ruled unanimously that the caretaker government can go ahead with exhumation of the dictator's carcass and bury the remains in a cemetery on the outskirts of Madrid. Being a bit of an entrepreneur I feel I have a cunning plan, or un idea acojonante as you might say in Spanish. I can't go into details at this point as we know what happened the last time....but part of the plan is I shall feed them to a quebrantahuesos, a bearded vulture and put an end to one aspect of this never ending bullshit.