How often do you lie? Most of the time I convince myself I never lie because I have a problem where I really need to go into the detail of events and make sure nothing went amiss. I tell yours truly that I am accurate and honest simply because I want everyone to know exactly what happened and there is often no point in lying. The truth is more surreal. Yet there are moments when I decide telling porkies is the only way to stop me going mad or from being bored. I lie to strangers. Usually at bus stops. I tell them I have children, chickens, religious beliefs... My favourite lie was telling some American tourists the Changing of the Guard was a public execution and I always tell Dutch tourists that the First Communion they are witnessing are child marriages. I'm only truthful with friends and family. They usually hate it, depending who is on the recieving end. Well, anyway, on account of the virus I needed to fill out a form online to sign on. It looked pretty easy but I should have known there would be some ambiguity or inadequacy. These things are not designed to go smoothly. I couldn't proceed unless I wrote in the expiry date of my time left on this planet or something like that. So I lied. I told them I will be here for the next 100 years. A woman rang and I explained the hole I had dug myself into, or rather would be buried in a century, and she told me not to worry about it. That these things happen all the time. I agreed and said we should leave it as an observation. I am sure the authorities will monitor it. Onwards and upwards!