My late father never went to a gym. Instead he would read the Daily Mail to get his cardio vascular exercise. Likewise, I read the Telegraph headlines just to put a few revs in the old ticker. You can be delighted or sufficiently wound up when reading them depending how class conscious you are which if you are British will mean more than you would like to admit. You can all sleep well tonight or sit bolt upright knowing that Carrie Symonds, Boris Johnson's girlfriend is referred to as his consort which is a word usually reserved for the spouse of a monarch but then we all know Mr Johnson only ever wanted to be king of the world. Just below this screamer is a headline that says it is going to reveal how Carrie's sixty nine pound coat will reinforce Johnson's 'people's government' message. You have to pay to read the premium bits of the Telegraph online which is pretty much all of it. Regretfully the EU budget for Ministry of Keeping an Eye on the Brits has been cut so we will never know but I can tell you that Ms Symonds is referred to in the continental press as First Lady, Lady Brexit, and Boris Johnson's feminist girlfriend. Oh well, keep on trucking because there's going to be a lot more of this shite.