"That drinking session in Brussels with Dominic, AKA the Turnip, you know the one when after the third pint he started to smell of steroids. That time he stopped mid conversation and asked 'so, you mean that time I went to New York we flew over water?' That night he started showing off his martial art skills at four in the morning. Well, I didn't finish. When we were trying to hail a cab he turned to me and said 'I'm not sure what to say to the cab driver, I don't speak very good Belgium' (sic) . Guess what, he's been made Foreign Secretary".