CUANDO CUANDO CUANDO

How many lightbulbs does it take for a man to walk a week in a fortnight? This and other questions could be put to our mayor Luis Felipe who apparently has what is called in English, a surgery, of sorts, like the MPs have in Britain where you can go along with your complaint. I might just take him to task about the ongoing saga re: our barrio and the never ending promise to pedestrianise part of the Plaza Bolinga or Alfonso el Batallador as it is properly known. The last I read concerning this bright idea was before Christmas when the local rag said that work was due to commence after Christmas, but for all we know this could mean Christmas 2019 or after a Christmas when we are all dead and don't care anymore. I have a reliable source in the form of Maite, a lawyer who lives round the corner from me who is often found, usually by her husband, with camera at the ready to catch people out as they piss up the walls to her flat, or throw rubbish into her mum's garage. She often accosts Mr Felipe as he does his rounds and they are more or less on first name terms as he tries to calm her down when she asks him the very questions I daren't ask for fear of ridicule everytime I have to pronounce something with the leter 'R' in it. She reckons said plan won't get into gear until just before the elections in May, although she didn't mention which year... Watch this Space.

Talking of the letter 'R', I realise the dreaded community meeting is upon us again and even though I always go I have decided to stay schtum this time as most of my quejas, complaints, come in the form of perros, dogs, both Mr Ceresuela next door and that beast Piti upstairs who has, despite being allegedly drugged, started to play up again. Regarding the need for so many to piss or shit inside the lift or just outside the front door doesn't even bother me anymore and isn't a Spanish custom. My idea to stick an Aragonese flag in every turd on the street, human or otherwise will never materialise as I would have to stick a Union Jack in those left in the streets of Britain. I recently heard this problem or lack of potty training reaches the TV studios of Channel 4 among others and I might just borrow the harsh words of one of the posters left in the toilets there to try and educate whoever it is that fails to use a toilet in the correct way. A translation into Spanish might be what is needed as opposed to all the polite ones I see here in just about every flat. Henderson also wants to put a sign up in the garage above the small bin we have there encouraging people to put more rubbish in as the one that tells them not to doesn't work.