Sunday 9 May 2010

I'M NOT A TOURIST

One thing that people don't understand if they have never lived abroad is that once you have integrated, learnt the language at least to a level were you can have a word perfect slanging match and not hear a single xenaphobic remark from your opponent, I think you can safely say you have more than enough rights to complain about your mayor if you are not happy with him or demonstrate you are not pleased with the latest graffitti or the hoodlums driving up and down at five in the morning or where your council tax is going. Brits who have never lived abroad and some who do, seem to think we or they are guests in the country they have chosen to live in and therefor don't have the right to say anything if they see something that is out of order. When people say 'well, you chose to live there', or 'well, the locals voted him in' when they hear my views on the mayor for example don't seem to realise that their views would sound very BNP if they said that to a foreigner back in Britain who didn't agree with Boris Johnson. I also think my neighbours wouldn't be very happy if I truned up ( keep this version..) at the meetings and sat there telling them 'well, I am just a guest here and have no right to spout my opinion, don't expect me to get involved with the latest saga on the dog or the water...''. I think once you have had a slanging match with Mercedes or gone down the council to ask what is going on with the pivot cum post that has been knocked down twenty times this year you know you are welcome. A lot of Brits don't realise I can vote in the Municipal elections and that one day I could run for mayor. We have friends in the mountains who told us that a tiny village nearby has a mayor who is also a part-time DJ and coke dealer so anything is possible here. Which leads onto the water situation here and how everyone seems to be turning to me to sort it out and I am thinking of putting something in it to calm them all down. Watch this space....

On a lighter note we did go up into them there hills to visit a lovely village called Ainsa were we ate in a fab restaurant called Callizos in a style I am beginning to get accustomed to but for a third of the price. It gave Heston Blumenthal a run for his money and with Enate wine came to about 33 Euros a head. The chef is called 'Magoo' according to my pal Elena who works at the nearby Casa Frauca and he came out from the kitchen at the ned (Ha!) of the meal to chat and tell us a big party of Norwegians couldn't make it on account of the volcanic ash. Our friend Jon said this was the worst excuse he had ever heard and would have believed them if they had said all their mothers had died, but then he feels the same everytime he hears the words 'Houston, we have a problem'. He says 'we all have problems my friend, my wife left me, I can't make ends meet....'

Later we found ourselves as usual in El Silencio de los Corderos, an old slaughterhouse I have mentioned before in the smashing villlage of. I woke up to a hung parliament and a hangover and none of the cures I have developed for either seem to work anymore.

Talking of this situation, the hung parliament I mean, I begin to wonder about my fellow Brits and our taking of the moral high ground in the court of Facebook/Twitter and blog opinion. On Facebook I notice people seem to make remarks about politicians and political groups in a desperate attempt to distance themselves. It's a similar thing here were you have to say which group you are with so the other person doesn't think you are an evil fascist or something. So many friends were battling to the end with Gordon that I realised that either I remain on the fringes or I have finally grown up. Finally Grown Up isn't synonymous with 'I vote Tory now' but come off it, how he was allowed to become Prime Minister in the first place, Gordon brown I mean not Cameron. I can say this as a Labour voter and supporter. It left me, like so many others in depsair ( as well as despair..) and floating. Thank God I didn't vote as I live here now and I am not one of those folk who live down on the Costa del Sol who may never go back but feel the pull and loyalty that demands they vote. It wouldn't feel right in the same way it doesn't feel right that as a tax payer I can only vote in the local elections here but not for the government.

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