ENTERTAINING MR CRUMP

I like to think I have got a life and I'm too busy living it to write about it but today I have nothing better to do so here goes....

'OK Felipe, describe your bedroom...'

"I've got the usual, two bedrooms, a wardrobe, a lamp' , and on it goes till he told me he has a poof in his room.

'A poof?'

'Si, a poof'.

'Right, I feel I have to intervene, don't say poof'.

'Why not?'

'Just don't'

'Yes, but why'

'OK but promise me you won't tell your friends'.

'I promise'

'Right, so that means you will go and tell them tomorrow'

'Yes'

'OK, I think you mean a pouffe but you need to know a poof means a 'Maricon'. Are you happy now?'

Stage left Felipe collapses in a fit of laughter.

The Spanish are not the most politically correct bunch so I felt this was OK to tell a fifteen year old whose only interest in English is when stuff like this happens. Why they even have a word for a 'poofy handbag'. A 'Mariconada' and you are one if you don't drink beer for breakfast.

Talking of Poofs and Maricones, I felt the need to tidy up for the first time since leaving the hospital five years ago and was found to remark 'God, it's not as if the Queen is coming ' only to realise that well, she was and he did and has now gone with his 'Mariconada' but left his umbrella behind. Yes it's that time of year when Mr Crump calls and what fun we had. Including a trip to Canfranc on that poofy train The 'Canfranero'. Can't remember the last time the woods have received an old fruit having a vada resplendent in winkle pickers and a handbag.