It's all go here. Managed to survive the tapas and wine competition and am now deciding whether my Christmas tree lights are on a ''slow fade'', or perhaps a ''steady on!

So many people trying to convince the rest of us they are paragons of virtue. Yet still we forgive. What goodness and patience we have, but there are limits. Doesn't do any harm to tell them to f#ck off once in a while. God they are trying. 

It's quite difficult to comprehend that Philip Sallon the beautiful socialite was an influential figure in my so called formative years, wait for it....40 years ago!!! Happy belated to him wherever he is. Hope to bump into him on my next visit to the motherland!!

Laura Kuenssberg is on the TV and she is saying it's not all doom and gloom and that according to NASA we could be living on the moon by the end of the decade and that you wouldn't be blamed for wanting to get away. Speak for yourself Kuenssberg!! I'm happy here, you lot can fuck right off into space! 

If I have to capitalise on the unacceptable face of capitalism, I will make sure that the victims of that capitalism will capitalise on my winnings. WATCH THIS SPACE....

IGNORANCE IS BLISS

I don't really know any of Kanye West's songs but then I don't know anything about Girls Aloud or Ed Sheeran or Jay Z or Drake or Bruno Mars or pretty much anything about 21st century contemporary music good or bad. I watch Graham Norton and listen to the artists he gets on the show and I think out of the hundreds who have performed I only liked Stormzy. You probably think I live a monastic life or that maybe I have been high on drugs in prison, or maybe on another planet. It can get embarrassing, mainly for the other person. Not me. I have no shame when it comes to ignorance of popular culture. I watched a programme called Saturday Night Take Away with someone called Ant and Dec earlier this year which had lots of pranks and so on and it ended with some kind of party with a lot of familiar famous faces. Everyone seemed to be having a lovely time and it all looked like it had been a great success. I turned to my sister and asked her ''do you think they will do this again, it seems like it might catch on''. Turns out the show has been going since 2002. 

DOGS ARE THE BEST

Those close to me, those who really know me know I am solid as a rock. An unbending tree. Devoted and faithful. Loving. Adoring. If pushed I will be at the front of the crowd leading like a warrior defending the right to have a good life for why else are we here if not to be alive and loving. On that note I believe I should have been born a dog.