A reporter on BBC World just said something about 'getting inside Putin's head' and all I can think is that is the last feckin' place I want to be.

Morning campers! I have just got an advert on my Facebook. It was for something called the European Conservative. I am just wondering why? Would it be something I'd be interested in? They look like potential grooming agents. Maybe it is because I once read an article from the Telegraph for free. Besides, that dunce in number 10 Clowning Street is hardly a good role model for the conservatives these days is he? More like the EDL by the looks of it, but without the heart. 

Good news folks. My order of one jacket from the UK has been liberated!!! There hasn't been this much consternation since a certain Mr Gonzalez was witholding my smalls, my ropa interior, yes, my Marks and Sparks lingerie which were languishing in a customs unit somewhere in the Basque country. Said garments could not be released until I provided proof of payment, proof of source of material, identification of myself and so on and so forth. Similar thing has happened but this time stuck in customs in Barajas airport in Madrid, but worse, as this time I have had to cough up 55 euros to pay for customs duties and fill out more forms and wasted my valuable time doing so. This is the final nail, the last straw I can tell you. Dozens of British companies that I love are now impossible to buy from. They either no longer sell to European countries or customs charges etc need to be paid. Governments answer to small businesses is to look for trade in the Pacific regions. Oh yes, 'cos they are crying out for tweed and Stilton in the Southern hemisphere! Other answer was to open a warehouse in the Netherlands and employ the Dutch.  If only there were some system to get round this, you know like a Customs Union or single market. I suppose it is only a matter of time before the UK has to sign up to one or the other or both. God knows how as that means paying a load of money or adopting the Euro or any of the other things that people didn't vote for. Perhaps that was the plan all along. Well done clever dicks!