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Thursday, 22 April 2010

YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW ME DO YOU?

So I guess we are now the evil ones as most of the neighbours avoid me or don't speak to me. Funny that, you'd think they would thank me for getting the beast to shut up seeing as they all moan about it at the annual meetings and behind Mercedes' back. No cojones you see. They didn't reckon on dealing with anyone with Irish blood I suppose. Never give an Irishman cause for revenge and don't think about it with an Irish woman especially one who boasts Jewish and Gyspy blood and is married to a Dutchman.

The latest ( first?) road to be pedestrianised is a tiny little one that runs down the side of the casino.The other day I saw that they had finally put in a pivot to stop the cars going down it and a set of bijou traffic lights. It was a joy to walk down and not worry if a car or van was about to ram you up the arse, clip your ear with its wing mirror, or poke your eye out with its aerial, especially on a cold day. I bumped into and spoke with a lawyer I know who has his office on this street and he was bemoaning how only the residents who have a garage get to have a 'key' to open the pivot and drive through. It is a tiny road and he lives two minutes away so I asked him what the problem was as he doesn't need to drive to work and he said 'but you are on the police's side!' like I am even more of a fascist than the neighbours imagine. 'No', I said, ' I don't understand what your problem is. You don't need to drive to work, so why would you need a key to get into your road? You walk to work.' He said, 'Yes, but what if I have a client in a wheechair ( sorry, gone a bit Scottish on this one...) ?' 'Well, I said, then I guess the council, not the police, as they only enforce the 'law', you know, the one the council, or government makes and then everyone does their best to break, should give you all a key and then once a year when your client turns up totally impeded, you can come down and open the pivot and let her come in by taxi or however she gets from A to B. God knows how she will climb the stairs though as you don't have a lift but never mind, and by the way, have you seen Calle San Lorenzo lately?'. ( Pictures should be provided soon on the third world UNESCO status state of the road we live in...). When I told Henderson later he calmly said 'he's a lawyer, he sold his soul years ago..'

So, the big complaint from the folk from Calle San Jose de Calasanz is that the folk with garages get the key and not the rest which I did agree was a bad thing and would be easier if they all had a key so they could get in if need be, you know, anything to get them to shut up and feel less victimised etc. Then today I read in the paper that they do all, neighbours and business people, have access to this pivot thingy and can open it but that this is easier said than done as the council have decided the best way is to give your mobile number (?) to the police, show that you live there or have a business and you will be able to open the pivot and so all will be able to get in regardless of whether they have a car/garage or not. The problem is that it doesn't work ( meaning it is already broken but also when it does 'work' it, well, doesn't if you know what I mean....) and people who don't have mobiles will have to get one and people who give permission to others to park will have to give them their mobiles and on it goes. So you see, there is a God and nothing works and no one cares, least of all me, muggins here, who has realised after a very long time that it doesn't pay to get involved.

There will be a new mayor by the name of Luis Felipe. I feel it might be a fresh start. Let's see.

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